


Down came a...

by Jalec



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 23:52:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2671058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jalec/pseuds/Jalec
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spider! And Stiles could not kill it because it was freaking HUUUUGE and it was basically chasing him which is why he was dancing on top of the couch waiting for Derek to get home so that he could swoop in, kill the beast, and save Stiles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down came a...

Okay, so living with Derek has its upside. Things like the fact that they can get jiggy with it whenever they want, that Derek has a bad-ass security system so there's no unexpected disturbances when they're getting jiggy with it, that Stiles actually likes that the loft has a 'rustic' (rusty) look to it, and that it has a pretty cool view, if you clean the giant windows. But it also has some  _seriously_ bad downsides, like the freaking _giant_ spiders that Stiles more-often-than-occasionally finds wandering across the floor or on the walls.

It was fine, the day was going well until something prickly brushed up against Stiles's foot. He let out the manliest of shrieks and managed to kick the coffee table in front of the sofa in front of him as he stood up with lightning speed on the couch. Luckily the loft was isolated, otherwise someone might have thought a young girl was having knots brushed out of her hair quite violently. It was  _that_ manly of a scream.

"THE ONE TIME--" Stiles starts out, because Derek is out, getting groceries, and he is usually the one to deal with the spiders. No, he is _always_  the one to deal with the spiders, like that one time there was two of them. One on the bed, only inches away from a nude Stiles, and one on the ground near the bed. When Derek was walking back from the bathroom and spotted them, he of course told Stiles after standing still for a good 30 seconds, making Stiles wonder what the hell he was doing. Maybe because Derek was just in the mood for a chuckle, but he did it anyway. And Stiles  _flipped_ out. He did so in every sense of the word. Things were wobbling and jiggling in every which direction as he stood up and leaped as quickly as a gazelle (however not even slightly as elegantly) or something similar off the bed and sprinted over to the loft stairs.

Derek would laugh as he picked it up in his hands without hesitation. 'See, it's harmless,' he'd say as he'd move towards Stiles with it. Stiles sported manly screams then as well.

'Easy for a big bad ol' werewolf like you, Der. If the thing bites you you'll bloody-well heal and get right along with your day! Not me, though. Nope, nuh-uh. Skinny, defenceless Stiles does NOT heal from deadly spider bites! And they will bite you, you know. They're like little heat-seeking blood-suc-- Wait, no they don't suck, do they? No, anyway, POISONOUS LITTLE FANG-BEARERS, THEY SEEK ME OUT AND,' he imitates some pincers with his fingers, 'WANT TO  _KILL_  ME, DEREK!'

He figures he can deal with it this one, though. He's got no choice, so, yea, he can totally deal with it. Despite the fact it's holding its ground right in front of him, other than whenever Stiles moves, because then it does too. He could jump over the back of the couch and make a run to the kitchen to grab a glass and a piece of cardboard to trap it and take it out (or a mallet, because that'd probably be more effective, dealer's choice), but then what if it followed him and he lost sight of it? It could be  _anywhere_. So no, okay, bad plan. The best plan is just to hold his own ground atop the couch. Maybe it'll leave when it sees or senses he's not afraid? Yea, cool. Brilliant plan, except for the fact Stiles is freaking petrified and is unlikely to develop some sudden cure to acute arachnophobia any time soon.

Okay, so he'll just wait for Derek. He'll just sit here because surely it'll move in five or 10 minutes. Another brilliant plan, except for the fact that an hour passes and the thing has not freaking moved.  _What an obnoxious_ _little shit_ , Stiles thinks to himself as he eyes it off, wondering why in the hell it needs more than two eyes.

To his relief, his absolute and utter relief, he hears feint whirring coming from outside the loft - the elevator. Thank god, because that means his saviour and knight in shining armour is coming to rescue him. He stands up when he hears clinging at the loft door. Then slowly, more slowly that usual, the thing opens, and Derek walks through. The man is carrying three large paper bags full of groceries. As soon as he sees Stiles grinning so weirdly while standing up on the couch and pointing to the coffee table, he stops. A slack-jawed look overcomes his face; he's confused. Stiles's grin contorts into just teeth-bearing, and when Derek doesn't say anything or move, Stiles starts jumping up and down on the couch, pointing fiercely at the spider.

"Are you...okay?" Is what Derek says when he finally speaks.

"SPIDER! SPIDERRRRRRR!" Stiles shouts. "SPIDER THERE! KILL!" Because talking in full sentences is hard right now.

"Spider?"

"SPIDER, DEREK. SPIDER!"

"Oh. Oh, yea. I got some bug spray stuff." Derek looks through the bags but doesn't pull anything out. "I must have left it in the car, let me just go down and get it." He puts the three grocery bags on the floor near the door and before Stiles can recover from  _whateverthehell_ that was and speak, Derek's gone.

Stiles looks like he could break down in tears. "DEREK." Or that he could murder someone because he is freaking infuriated. "DEREK HALE. YOU COME BACK. DEREK COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW. THERE IS A SPIDER ON...THE...GROUND. COME HELP ME. HELP YOU BOYFRIEND." His resolve starts out strong. Demand everything, yell until Derek comes back. Excellent. But when that doesn't happen, he essentially begins whimpering. "DEREEEEEEEEK," he sings. "I LOVE YOU, PLEASE HELP ME. I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY IF YOU HELP ME...even though you're rich and own the building and stuff like that... BUT DEREK, PLEASSSSEEEEEEEE HELP MEEEEEEE."

Silence for a minute, but for what feels like an eternity to Stiles.

Then he hears it, a little snicker coming from behind the barn-looking door. He notes that he didn't hear the whirring of the elevator moving down the shaft. The bugger didn't leave.

"DEREK HALE. DER-EK HA-LE, I KNOW YOU ARE THERE. YOU COME BACK IN HERE THIS INSTANT AND HELP YOUR POOR, INNOCENT STILES WHO DOES NOT WANT TO FREAKING DIE AT 18 YEARS OLD." Maybe he has to change tact. "CAN I BRIBE YOU WITH SEX? WE CAN HAVE SEX IF YOU WANT, BUT YOU NEED TO RESCUE ME FIRST. PLEASE?"

And with that announcement, Derek steps back into the loft. His cheeks are red and he is still recovering from a giggling fit which he had to try really hard to keep silent as to not give his presence away. He goes to speak but breaks out in another giggling spasm, and he has to put his hand to his chest and the other on his knee to support himself.

"Hilarious!" Stiles says sarcastically, then he's vigorously pointing to the spider with a pouty look on his face.

"Okay, okay," Derek says as he walks towards Stiles and the creature, which in reality is no bigger than any other spider. He bends down and oddly it crawls into his palm and just sits there. Must be a werewolf-y thing.

Stiles lets out a relieved sigh and puts his hands to his face, like he's wiping sweat off. Drama queen.

Derek flicks the spider out of a window. It'll survive, those things always do. Like cockroaches. Then he turns around and looks at Stiles like the kid has done something wrong. He puts a hand on his hip. "Really?" Then he begins to walk closer to his boyfriend until he stands where the spider rested. Stiles still stands on the couch, he hasn't moved, so he is a good two heads taller than Derek at the moment. He lets out a mischievous smile, like someone after their crush spoke to them.

"Thank youuu," he sings out, giddy, then he reaches down and clasps Derek's head in his hands, and kisses him. "We can do  _that_ now, if you want," he giggles.


End file.
